Maximus Janton was magic personified. For six years, three months, and three days, he gave us pure love, deep purpose, and all-consuming joy. He made everything look brighter and feel more meaningful. How tickled we were about the future, knowing Max would live with us forever, filling every day with his one-of-a-kind exuberance. What a gift, to wake up every day and see his face, to cup his velvet cheeks in our hands, look into his wide brown eyes and hear him say I love you, or Naynu, as he pronounced it. Would he have always said it that way? I hope so.
How happy we were for Duke and Beau, knowing how their big brother, so proud and loving, would enhance their lives. I imagined all three boys sharing a room at some point. I assumed it might be short-lived, as they’d probably giggle more than sleep, but I craved the experience. I wanted to see Max play baseball for the Miracle League, the bleachers full of friends and family, chanting his name. I wanted to take him to see Mumford & Sons, his favorite band, every year, no matter the cost, no matter the distance. I was so excited that his childlike wonder would never fade. I could see him, our Max at 30 years old, bounding down the stairs to see what Santa brought. I pictured myself in my 70s, running errands with Max by my side, saying “hello” to everyone, leaving smiles in his wake. Thoughts of the future enveloped me like a hug, comforting and warm. Those plans live on in my mind and I continue to reconcile that they’ll never come to fruition. Each day reveals fresh mourning, a reality we could have never fathomed.
Somehow, year after year, the Friends FORE Max Janton Golf Classic doesn’t feel like a day to mourn. It is a day to celebrate our beautiful boy, to remember him, to speak his name over and over, and witness his light illuminating the souls around us.
Many of the golfers have attended all five years. They hold their own special love for Max and don’t refrain from telling us so. The day is filled with hugs, smiles, tears, yes, and words that make us feel less alone. Everyone knows we’re there for Max. They talk about him, ask about him. What I’d give for that to happen every day. In this new life of ours, we’re surrounded by many who never met Max, many who have only seen us with two sons. They innocently refer to our middle son as the oldest, they speak of their 11-year-old children and all I can think about is my boy who would be 11. How often I want to scream, I have three sons! I am Max Janton’s mommy. I love him and I miss him with every cell in my body. He should be here and I’m so mad and so devastated that he’s not.
But at these golf tournaments, everyone knows what’s in my mind and on my heart and they speak the words for me. The love and understanding that washes over us - it’s a spiritual experience. Max feels so close, we feel held in both the joy and pain of the day, and we soak in every second.
This was our 5th annual tournament and our best turnout yet. Dan sent just one e-mail and the event filled up, which is remarkable. The golf carts were filled with a mix of new and old friends, many wearing hats that display Max’s sweet silhouette. We had an amazing show of volunteers and benevolent sponsors. Jordan Sasser, a wonderful singer from our church, sang a rendition of “Living Hope” at the start of the tournament, and a perfect mix of breeze and sunshine surrounded us throughout. We had a robust silent auction, great food, few mishaps – the day was a success by all counts. We are extremely happy to share that the tournament raised $38,000 for the Maximus Janton Foundation!!!
For the first time, we had our boys, Duke and Beau, skip school and join us for the entire day. As they get older, we want their participation in the foundation to grow. Their life with Max would have been immersed in the special needs community, and we’re determined it still will be. We want to teach them how to honor their brother through service. We want them to shake the hands of those who love Max, and who rally around our family, all five of us.
If you had any involvement in this year’s golf tournament, thank you from the bottom of our hearts and thank you for keeping Max in yours.
